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26 July 2008 @ 01:11 am
The Feminist Bandwagon  
Title: The Feminist Bandwagon
Author: Vesta
Pairing: Prissy!Sam/ Frustrated!Dean
Rating: R to be safe
Disclaimers: Not mine. Don't own, don't sue
Feedback: Yes, please
Summary: Sam has gotten his hands on a very special book.

Notes: Unbetad. Do mind your eyes and beware of grammatical horrors. This is very short and very silly. And there is no point in it at all, but eventually there will be a part two if I can get around to it.
The book mentioned is for real and I can recommend it, it's very good. 'The madwoman in the attic. The woman writer and the nineteenth-century literary imagination.' By Sandra M. Gilbert and Susan Gubar.

"If you look at it from a feminist point of view, what we're doing is gender biased."

Dean looked up from between Sam's legs, releasing his cock with a pop. "What are you on about now?" he asked before getting back to licking.

"Oh, god, don't stop," Sam groaned. "What I'm saying is that we tend to choose female beings instead of male...oh, just like that, lick right there..., I've been wondering why..." his voice tapered of again in a long groan when Dean sucked just so.

Dean let go of Sam again, "Yeah, so?"

Sam's breath hitched. "We're being suppressive and derogatory towards females. Because we're male and consider ourselves superior." It wasn't easy to be coherent for long enough to explain, but Sam did his best in spite of not being coherent at all.

"According to some feminists, males are trying to dominate females by penetration. We do that a lot. With sticks or knives or whatever and if you stop now I'll hurt you so bad."

Dean hadn't been really listening, busy a he was driving Sam around the bend. But just for the hell of it, he let go of Sam again and looked quizzically at him. "So, what you're saying is that when I suck you off, you dominate me, because you're sticking it into me. And when I fuck you, I dominate you. And yeah, I'm calling you a girl. But if that is true, how does this make sense then?"

He wrapped his lips around Sam's cock again and slipped a finger in beside, making it wet before pushing it into Sam's ass. That one simple action put things on their heads and Sam, even though he was trying to be PC, could just not care anymore at that moment. He closed the discussion for the evening.


The morning after he brought the book he was reading with him to breakfast. Dean eyed it carefully where Sam had put it on the table. 'The madwoman in the attic' the title said.

"Reading horror stories now, Sammy? That's not like you."

Sam glared at him over his chicken sandwich. "It's not a horror story. It's about female writers and how they have been received."

"Excuse me?"

"The madwoman is a metaphor for the suppression of female writers and how they have been put aside in favour of the male writers. Also, the extended message is dealing with how women have been regarded as lesser beings in society during the centuries."

Dean almost choked on his bacon and had to take several deep swallows of his coffee to regain his breath. "What! Sammy..."

"Don't call me Sammy and the text is relevant to what we're doing."

"Text? How in all hell can repressed women be relevant to a salt and burn job? Should I be worried now? Don't answer! I am worried already."

"We, as males, see women as fertilisers or breeders and not as beings on their own. Just as male writers consider women as muses only, with no ability of their own to create, we as hunters see female beings as more dangerous than male ones, because they are acting out off the normal." Sam had to stop and breathe.

Dean stared at him, mouth open. "Christo," he said as soon as Sam got quiet.

"Oh stop it! Don't you see? Even when we're dealing with ghosts, we are gentler with the 'proper' ones," Sam made a quote sign around the word and Dean choked again. "Cases of lost love as the cause of not being able to rest, we sorta escort them the right way. When they are malicious and vengeful, you call them bitches and we dance on their graves."

"I have never danced on a grave in my life! Sammy..."

"Don't call me that. I've told you a million times now. That I let you stick your cock in my ass does not give you the right to ignore my wishes."

The waitress walked by and Sam got quiet again. Dean leaned a little to the side to watch her tail swaying gait. "Now that is nice! I bet I can fit her ass in the palm of my hand." He glared back at Sam. "Speaking of asses, don't think she would mind."

"I give up. You don't get it, do you?"

"Get what? That she has a nice ass?"

"You're a jerk. All you see is her as a bodily function and a chance to get your dick wet. Derogatory, Dean. What would you talk to her about? Tell me that!"

"You are not allowed to read shit like that anymore." Dean reached for the book but got his hand slapped. "I don't see her as a 'bodily function'. Those are dealt with on the toilet, you freak. If I want to get my dick wet, I have you. And right now, I'm thinking of how I'm gonna dominate you when we get back."

"See! That's all there is on your mind. Sex. And domination. You are such a chauvinist, Dean."

Dean leaned over the table, "Fingers, tongue and cock. How's that for domination?"

Sam swallowed. Dean had a point there. He dropped the discussion for the moment. But he would not let Dean get away with it. Dean would have to see the point Sam was trying to make or he would so be in the dog house for a year.


"And exactly how bad did that go?" Dean sat up with a pained groan. "I did what you said, I tried to be gentle, but dude! You can't cuddle an evil female spirit."

"Mfff. Didn't work at all. You did it wrong."

"I did not! Didn't you hear my trying to fucking coax her back down there? I did not whip out the stake until she got seriously bitchy."

"There's that bitch word again. She could probably feel that you didn't mean it."

"Sammy, baby. I hate you. Shower's mine when we get back."


"You know, Dean, the synonyms for the male genitalia are mostly based on weapons. Makes sense with the whole domination theory."


"I mean, you handle your dick as you handle oow! Don't bite!"

"Do not get into that again, ok? Don't say shit like that to the guy who has your 'weapon' in his mouth."

Sam glared at Dean, again. There had been lots and lots of glaring the last few days. He didn't get through to Dean, not on any level. Whenever he tried to get the discussion going, Dean blew it by making a snide joke about domination and Sam being a girl. But Dean had looked funny at him, Sam had noticed.

Never give up, never surrender, Sam thought and went for it again. "There are some that says that the pen is a substitute for a penis, or vice versa," he said. Which he shouldn't have, he could tell that it didn't get over well with Dean. Dean sat up, protectively covering himself with both hands. "Did you just call my dick a pen? Dude! You are so cut off!"

Sam sighed. "No, I didn't. I said that some sees the pen as an extension of the penis and as such it is used to…"

Dean's hand landed over his mouth. "If you say dominate one more time, you'll sleep in the car. And no nookie. I can entertain my pen myself."

"Right! So that's how it's gonna be. Fine! I'll just go jerk off in the bathroom then." Sam tried to climb off the bed but Dean caught him before he got too far.

"You're not going anywhere! Jerk off by yourself, that's stupid." He arranged Sam, who hid his cooperation behind a very sour face, on the bed. "Jerk off, idjit, when you can fuck me instead."

"You said no nookie. Make up your fucking mind, man." Sam pretended to not angle his hips just so, to make it easier for Dean to climb on top and slide down on his cock. He lost his breath and the thread of the discussion when Dean finally sat down on him, taking all of Sam in one slow move.

Dean stilled, kept Sam's hands pinned down. "Are we gonna keep talking now?"

Sam grunted. "Not now perhaps but we will have this discussion again."

"What discussion?" Dean said and rolled his hips.

"Can't…oh god…remember. Don't stop!"

lovetheguyslovetheguys on July 25th, 2008 11:29 pm (UTC)
Absolutely hilarious! You get a gold star for one of the funniest Wincest/crack stories EVER! Love, Robin
Vesta: sam1biggelois on July 27th, 2008 12:14 pm (UTC)
Hee! Thank you! I've never gotten a gold star before. Brilliant, I'm gonna save it.
Ovaltine Jenkinsvioletlemon47 on July 26th, 2008 12:51 am (UTC)
This was too funny. :)
Vesta: sam1biggelois on July 27th, 2008 12:14 pm (UTC)
Great that you liked! thank you.
phanie28phanie28 on July 26th, 2008 01:42 am (UTC)
ROFL OMG that was so funny!! LOL

You said there would be a part two heh? Can't wait!! LOL
Vesta: sam1biggelois on July 27th, 2008 12:15 pm (UTC)
I'm glad you liked. We'll see about a second part, if it happens it happens.Thank you!
LindaMlinda3m on July 26th, 2008 02:07 am (UTC)
LOL! Very funny. Great Dean voice. And proof that Dean isn't as dense as he pretends to be, he just doesn't want to listen.
Vesta: dean2biggelois on July 27th, 2008 12:16 pm (UTC)
I don't think he's dense at all, he's just practical. Care about what matters. Thank you very much!
nachekananachekana on July 26th, 2008 06:47 am (UTC)
Feminist!Sam is hilarious! And yes, I doubt Dean really pay attention to being politically correct... Well, that's half why I love him! (and the rest is totally based on his good looks, I must admit...).
Vesta: dean3biggelois on July 27th, 2008 12:17 pm (UTC)
::snort:: You're biased too! Excellent. Thank you very much, I'm glad you liked.
asatomurakiasatomuraki on July 26th, 2008 01:06 pm (UTC)
*Giggle-snort* A slash discussion of feminist POV, by its very nature thumbing our collective nose at certain rigid stereotypes. Well done! And crack-a-licious.
Vesta: dean5biggelois on July 27th, 2008 12:21 pm (UTC)
I don't know where this came from, could be all the feminist discussions and the name calling involved there that set it off. I think it turned out pretty decent.
Thank you very much! I'm really glad you liked it.
dahlianna: spn gigglesdahlianna on July 27th, 2008 03:35 pm (UTC)
Congratulations! With this most awesome story you have won the Internetz for today! Have some confetti. *throws confetti*

You are also going on my f-list now. I'm gonna keep an eye on you! :-P
Vesta: dean5biggelois on July 28th, 2008 05:54 am (UTC)
OH!" I won a prize! ::swims in confetti::Thank you very much.
I just hope I won't disappoint in the future, what with you keeping an eye on me :)
solstraale on July 27th, 2008 08:44 pm (UTC)
Good as always but this time also VERY funny! Sat here and smiled all the time! :-)
(though spending 3 hours with a gay couple this afternoon did make some lines lead to some unwanted images in my mind... :-) )

Couldn't stop wondering though how did you come to this story. An article you read that made you think of it? A discussion? I just wonder... :-)
Vesta: dean5biggelois on July 28th, 2008 05:57 am (UTC)
Yes! I put a smile on your face. I think you needed that after the events of your day. But swap the E person for the M person and the images might work better.
Don't know where it came from really. I've been looking through a lof of feminist discussions lately and a lot of them come off as very narrow minded. I had to make fun of it :)
pretty pink porn master jedivamptastica on July 28th, 2008 12:48 pm (UTC)
ok i don't what is scarier. sam being able to even think the word coherent during a blowjob from dean or the whole fact that he's thinking in terms of feminism and if that doesn't make him a girl i don't know what does. *giggles*

I LOVED THIS!!!! awesome fic and YAY FOR SAMMY's softer side. ;)

(poor dean trying to be sweet to the mean ghostie)

loved it. :D
Vesta: sambiggelois on July 29th, 2008 09:26 am (UTC)
That Sam can actually think during the blowjob just shows that he is in thouch with his feminine side adn can do more than one thing at the same time :)

Thank you very much! I'm glad you liked.